I know I do this every year, but this week right before school is so stressful. I had grand ideas for making freezer meals and having everything in tip-top shape before Monday so I could maybe, for once, relax a little that first week. However, life has other plans.
I am up at 6 on a Saturday morning, and have actually been up since 5/awake since 4...but this early rising isn't for a run, sadly. I'll be headed up to school in a little while, but for now, I'm working on cleaning this house...yet another thing I had hoped to have done before now. My hubby had to go to work early this morning, so I figured if he was up and working, I could be too.
I did dream about running. But even in my dreams, I couldn't get that much needed release running gives me from my stress. It was a very realistic dream where I could feel how hard the run was, like my feet were in quicksand. I was moving so slowly and my feet hurt so much. Sad that I can't even have a good run in my dreams.
I am hoping to attempt a run tomorrow. I've been without a run for two weeks now...and just when I need one most. The half marathon is now two months away. I have decided that I'm going to get the BondiBand (my mom, sister and I are selling them for a Team World Vision fundraiser) that says "Run, Walk, Crawl, Finish!" because that is exactly my plan for this half. I'm going to do it, but it might not be pretty.
I always hit a point in the year, ususally now and many times over, when I have to come face-to-face with my shortcomings. I just can't get it all together. Some days I feel like I might be close to finding balance for all the roles I have, but others, like today, I realize that I drop the ball more often than not. It's frustrating to find that I haven't prioritized the things that are most important to me and have wasted time on the unimportant, leaving me being unable to do or not having done the things that truly mattered.
Which sort of leads me to today's blog writing challenge from Fitness Cheerleader. Why is my blog named Home.Heart.Health.? Well, that's just why. I try to write about the balance between these three things...between mind, body and soul...because I'm trying to find that elusive balance.
This past weekend, my pastor used an illustration that has always been one of my favorites. The story goes that a teacher sets out sand, gravel, small rocks and larger rocks and has his students try to place everything in a jar. When they can't seem to make it fit, he shows them how by adding the large rocks first, then the small rocks, the gravel and finally the sand. He points out that this is like our priorities. Get the big ones in first and the rest will fall into place (and I'd add...or they won't matter).
So, I'm going to be working on my priorities. I have been spending each morning (when I'd normally be running) reading my Bible and a short devotion over a cup of coffee. I've really enjoyed this time and will have to really make it a priority to get it done once actual school starts Monday.
And of course, I want my family to be a top priority. I've spent way too much time just being here and not really being present. I want to focus on them and us and what will make us stronger and closer as a family. With my daughter in second grade and my son starting kindergarten, I'm realizing how quickly they grow up, and I want to make each day count.
My health is also important to me, and I haven't been careful of what I've put into my body for the past few weeks. I've been stress eating a lot more than I'd want anyone to know, and I can feel the impact it has had on the way I feel. That, in combination with not running, has had more of an impact on my mood and state of mind than I'd care to admit. So, even though running may be on the back burner, I need to make what I eat and what I do a priority.
And while some argue that a clean house doesn't have to be a priority or "it's not that bad," to me, a clean and organized house allows me to relax and enjoy being here. It's a reflection of my internal order.
If there was a magic tool that would just help you get it all together, that would be so much easier. But I guess that's just part of the process.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Dear Me,
Dear Me at 23,
Look at you, you newlywed! Here I am 10 years from now, and I want to let you in on a few secrets. You'll learn them as you go, but this might make things a little easier.
1. Enjoy what you have now. Someday you will miss that tiny waist; appreciate it now. Someday you will miss that little house; make the most of it. Someday you will forget what a clean house and a few hours to yourself are like; enjoy them now.
2. What feels like big things at the time will work out. For you, it will come in terms of infertility and the stress it brings. Don't worry. Everything will happen in God's time and in God's way.
3. Quit stressing the small stuff...and it really is all small stuff. Your teaching will improve with each year. You'll learn to let go of what doesn't really matter. You'll develop your own ways of handling the day to day things.
4. Appreciate your friends. They won't stay the same or in the same place for long. Enjoy them while you have them, stay connected, and learn to love on others when they aren't there.
5. Go ahead and build a routine of working out now. That won't always be the case. And it's much harder to start over than it is to just keep on going.
Ok, so maybe none of this is earth shattering, but maybe it is helpful in some way. Smile. It really does make things better.
With love,
Your older, wiser Self
Look at you, you newlywed! Here I am 10 years from now, and I want to let you in on a few secrets. You'll learn them as you go, but this might make things a little easier.
1. Enjoy what you have now. Someday you will miss that tiny waist; appreciate it now. Someday you will miss that little house; make the most of it. Someday you will forget what a clean house and a few hours to yourself are like; enjoy them now.
2. What feels like big things at the time will work out. For you, it will come in terms of infertility and the stress it brings. Don't worry. Everything will happen in God's time and in God's way.
3. Quit stressing the small stuff...and it really is all small stuff. Your teaching will improve with each year. You'll learn to let go of what doesn't really matter. You'll develop your own ways of handling the day to day things.
4. Appreciate your friends. They won't stay the same or in the same place for long. Enjoy them while you have them, stay connected, and learn to love on others when they aren't there.
5. Go ahead and build a routine of working out now. That won't always be the case. And it's much harder to start over than it is to just keep on going.
Ok, so maybe none of this is earth shattering, but maybe it is helpful in some way. Smile. It really does make things better.
With love,
Your older, wiser Self
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Why I Blog
You know, I'm not really sure what made me start a blog. I used to have one called One Scrap Away because I always felt about a scrap away from insanity with two little ones and a crazy life. I blogged mainly stuff about my kids and my craftiness there. It was a way to vent and think and try to keep track of things. Then somewhere in there, I started one called Another Mile Down because I felt like I was ticking away miles in my fitness efforts. And it really was just about logging more miles.
But a little over a year ago, I felt the need to combine these two. I run for balance and yet my blogs were separate. My new title Home.Heart.Health. shows this balance I'm always seeking in my life. The three things are connected, just like mind/body/soul. I post recipes and organization attempts and planning as part of the Home area; I post my random thoughts and fun activities for the Heart; I post my running and racing and nutrition things as part of Health. I can't separate these things...they are all part of my crazy life and me.
But a little over a year ago, I felt the need to combine these two. I run for balance and yet my blogs were separate. My new title Home.Heart.Health. shows this balance I'm always seeking in my life. The three things are connected, just like mind/body/soul. I post recipes and organization attempts and planning as part of the Home area; I post my random thoughts and fun activities for the Heart; I post my running and racing and nutrition things as part of Health. I can't separate these things...they are all part of my crazy life and me.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
A typical day
Fitness Cheerleader's blog challenge has us looking at a typical day.
A typical day for me, starting again tomorrow, is my typical teacher's day. It has been very different for the past couple of months since it has been summer. I actually started back to work this past Thursday, but they were relatively easy days. Tomorrow starts a very long week of inservice, meetings and planning.
A typical day for the school year looks like this:
4:15 am (2-3 days a week)--up and running, literally, on the treadmill in my garage. It's hot, but it gets the job done.
5:15 am--shower time
6 am--start waking my daughter..it will take many, many tries.
6:30 am--get the kids up, dressed and fed
7 am--out the door to school
7:10--get ready for the day before the kids arrive
7:35 am--the first kids arrive
7:45 to 3 pm--teach, talk, listen, dedirect, plan, organize, intervene, instruct, model
3-4 pm--this is my time to copy papers, grade papers, plan ahead and have a few minutes of quiet
4 pm--I pick up the kids from my mother-in-law's house.
4-5:30 pm--Homework time, chores, prep dinner, laundry, dishes...whatever needs to be done.
5:30-8:30 pm-Hubby gets home. We usually have a little downtime before dinner. Dinner. Baths. Get ready for bedtime. Bedtime routines. This is also where practices, games, classes, etc. happen.
8:30 pm--Kids go to bed. Chad and I catch up on shows, put up laundry, etc. I pack lunches for the kids and me and get my clothes, including workout gear, ready for the next day.
10 pm--I head to bed, usually reading for about half an hour before going to sleep.
The early morning runs will be changing though. My foot is still hurting. I iced it every night this past week, took it easy, wore "real" shoes as much as possible, stretched it, rested...all to no avail. I tried to run this morning, and I couldn't make it to the corner. My half is now in real jeopardy, as is the quarter marathon in a month. I was able to hop on the bike this morning and get 5 miles in; however, that is just not possible before school. I don't do dark. And I know that if I wait until after school, it won't get done. I'm so frustrated. I'm still going to get up early and try to figure out some workout I can do without killing my foot. It's just not the same as a run :(
A typical day for me, starting again tomorrow, is my typical teacher's day. It has been very different for the past couple of months since it has been summer. I actually started back to work this past Thursday, but they were relatively easy days. Tomorrow starts a very long week of inservice, meetings and planning.
A typical day for the school year looks like this:
4:15 am (2-3 days a week)--up and running, literally, on the treadmill in my garage. It's hot, but it gets the job done.
5:15 am--shower time
6 am--start waking my daughter..it will take many, many tries.
6:30 am--get the kids up, dressed and fed
7 am--out the door to school
7:10--get ready for the day before the kids arrive
7:35 am--the first kids arrive
7:45 to 3 pm--teach, talk, listen, dedirect, plan, organize, intervene, instruct, model
3-4 pm--this is my time to copy papers, grade papers, plan ahead and have a few minutes of quiet
4 pm--I pick up the kids from my mother-in-law's house.
4-5:30 pm--Homework time, chores, prep dinner, laundry, dishes...whatever needs to be done.
5:30-8:30 pm-Hubby gets home. We usually have a little downtime before dinner. Dinner. Baths. Get ready for bedtime. Bedtime routines. This is also where practices, games, classes, etc. happen.
8:30 pm--Kids go to bed. Chad and I catch up on shows, put up laundry, etc. I pack lunches for the kids and me and get my clothes, including workout gear, ready for the next day.
10 pm--I head to bed, usually reading for about half an hour before going to sleep.
The early morning runs will be changing though. My foot is still hurting. I iced it every night this past week, took it easy, wore "real" shoes as much as possible, stretched it, rested...all to no avail. I tried to run this morning, and I couldn't make it to the corner. My half is now in real jeopardy, as is the quarter marathon in a month. I was able to hop on the bike this morning and get 5 miles in; however, that is just not possible before school. I don't do dark. And I know that if I wait until after school, it won't get done. I'm so frustrated. I'm still going to get up early and try to figure out some workout I can do without killing my foot. It's just not the same as a run :(
Friday, August 17, 2012
My favorite workout
Considering I can't ever stick with a strength training plan or cross training regimen for longer than, oh, a week, my favorite workout is running.
A nice, long run is far and away my favorite way of working out...one where my thoughts turn peaceful and my stress melts away. One where my body works hard enough to shake out the cobwebs. One where my body is tired but my mind is rejuvenated.
However, if I have to pick a "workout," I'll go with negative splits on the treadmill. I run in the hot garage before school two or three days a week once school starts back up. Wednesdays are for speed work. One of the most satisfying workouts out there is to kick up the speed every half mile until the end. Sometimes I give myself a recovery in between...but most of the time I don't. I think this workout has been part of the reason why I can finish runs strong, even if I struggle for the first two miles. My mom and sister joke that I'm like Shorty, an old Shetland pony we had once. That horse would see the barn and head for home, even if he'd only been out for a little while. Like me. When I know the run is almost done, I pick up the pace and head for home.
A nice, long run is far and away my favorite way of working out...one where my thoughts turn peaceful and my stress melts away. One where my body works hard enough to shake out the cobwebs. One where my body is tired but my mind is rejuvenated.
However, if I have to pick a "workout," I'll go with negative splits on the treadmill. I run in the hot garage before school two or three days a week once school starts back up. Wednesdays are for speed work. One of the most satisfying workouts out there is to kick up the speed every half mile until the end. Sometimes I give myself a recovery in between...but most of the time I don't. I think this workout has been part of the reason why I can finish runs strong, even if I struggle for the first two miles. My mom and sister joke that I'm like Shorty, an old Shetland pony we had once. That horse would see the barn and head for home, even if he'd only been out for a little while. Like me. When I know the run is almost done, I pick up the pace and head for home.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Favorite thing to cook
I love my crockpot. Once school really gets up and going, I'll be using that thing quite often. So it's no surprise that a lot of my favorite meals are made in the crockpot.
Here's one of my easiest and yummiest recipes:
Pulled Pork
1 boneless pork roast, rinsed and dried
1 onion, sliced
1-2 cups of apple juice
Seasoning (I use an applewood pork rub)
Favorite bbq sauce (I use Kraft original)
Place sliced onion in the bottom of the crockpot. Place roast on top, fat side up. Season with rub or other seasonings (brown sugar, garlic powder, etc.). Pour in enough apple juice to go about half way up the side. Cook on low all day. Drain off the fat and liquids and shred the pork, removing any visible fat. Add bbq sauce and let it warm up.
I serve this on buns with coleslaw (often broccoli slaw). I like the coleslaw on my sandwich, but most people don't.
Nothing "healthy" about it, but it's really good. Sometimes I save back some of the pork before adding the bbq sauce, and we turn it into another meal like quesadillas or burritos.
Here's one of my easiest and yummiest recipes:
Pulled Pork
1 boneless pork roast, rinsed and dried
1 onion, sliced
1-2 cups of apple juice
Seasoning (I use an applewood pork rub)
Favorite bbq sauce (I use Kraft original)
Place sliced onion in the bottom of the crockpot. Place roast on top, fat side up. Season with rub or other seasonings (brown sugar, garlic powder, etc.). Pour in enough apple juice to go about half way up the side. Cook on low all day. Drain off the fat and liquids and shred the pork, removing any visible fat. Add bbq sauce and let it warm up.
I serve this on buns with coleslaw (often broccoli slaw). I like the coleslaw on my sandwich, but most people don't.
Nothing "healthy" about it, but it's really good. Sometimes I save back some of the pork before adding the bbq sauce, and we turn it into another meal like quesadillas or burritos.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Overflowing
I recently read a post by Kristin Armstrong on Mile Markers where she took the time she needed to run alone to refill her "red solo cup." I liked the post then, but after this weekend, I really feel like my own cup has been filled...and even better, it gave me the opportunity to talk to my kids about our "cups" and how we can fill each others and our own.
This weekend, we decided, a little later than this type A person would have liked, to go camping. Chad had mentioned it late last week, but then we never decided anything for sure. Then Sunday, we went to church (which was a good lesson on loving each other), had lunch, swam...and then decided to go camping. That. Night. And we did.
We quickly packed up the camper, stopped at the store on the way out of town, and drove an hour to a nearby state park that I used to frequent with my family camping growing up. We got there after hours so we were able to drive around and pick out our own campsite. Luckily, they did have some pull through sites...so much easier for these newbie campers! As we were setting up, the sun was starting to go down and we had the surprise of seeing a doe and its fawn walk by. How cool is that?!
We didn't eat until about 8:30, switching from what I had planned to make to easy sandwiches. We all enjoyed sleeping in a little the next morning and had a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and eggs before going to explore the old fort buildings in this state park. That afternoon we went into town to get a few things and have some ice cream. That evening, we made a hearty dinner of sausage, potatoes, onion, zucchini, and peppers, which we enjoyed out under the camper awning. There we were joined by more than a dozen deer traipsing through our campsite. The kids loved it...with SB giggling when her daddy joked that the deer were surrounding us. It really was an amazing experience to have as a family.
We played a couple of games of ladderball, one of which was interrupted by a giant tarantula. The kids laughed and laughed (from the trailer windows) as Daddy swept the spider away.
We did have one of those "That which does not kill you..." experiences after that though. We realized we hadn't been careful with water conservation and had filled our holding tank (luckily, just the gray water). Nothing could be done but to go dump it...in the dark...by disconnecting everything, hooking it up the trailer, and heading to the dump station...and then reconnecting everything when we were done. We can laugh about it now, but it wasn't fun then. However, we handled it well and continued with our night after that.
But this morning...that was what really topped off my own cup. Chad and I got up before the kids and sat outside talking, with me drinking my coffee. The weather was beautiful. I had taken my running stuff and would have loved to enjoy a run in that weather...but my foot has been killing me. But if I'd gone for a run, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy that time with my husband and later with all of us. It really did my soul good to have that time outside with my family.
And that brought me to talking to the kids today about how we all have cups that are filled by good times and kind words and nice actions, but are easily spilled by negativity. We were able to discuss ways to fill each others' cups and how to take care of our own cups.
I am so glad that I stepped outside myself and what I would have liked in the way of time to plan and organize this trip and just enjoyed the time we had together in all its little ways. And now, with reference to Psalm 23:5, my cup overflows...
This weekend, we decided, a little later than this type A person would have liked, to go camping. Chad had mentioned it late last week, but then we never decided anything for sure. Then Sunday, we went to church (which was a good lesson on loving each other), had lunch, swam...and then decided to go camping. That. Night. And we did.
We quickly packed up the camper, stopped at the store on the way out of town, and drove an hour to a nearby state park that I used to frequent with my family camping growing up. We got there after hours so we were able to drive around and pick out our own campsite. Luckily, they did have some pull through sites...so much easier for these newbie campers! As we were setting up, the sun was starting to go down and we had the surprise of seeing a doe and its fawn walk by. How cool is that?!
We didn't eat until about 8:30, switching from what I had planned to make to easy sandwiches. We all enjoyed sleeping in a little the next morning and had a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and eggs before going to explore the old fort buildings in this state park. That afternoon we went into town to get a few things and have some ice cream. That evening, we made a hearty dinner of sausage, potatoes, onion, zucchini, and peppers, which we enjoyed out under the camper awning. There we were joined by more than a dozen deer traipsing through our campsite. The kids loved it...with SB giggling when her daddy joked that the deer were surrounding us. It really was an amazing experience to have as a family.
We played a couple of games of ladderball, one of which was interrupted by a giant tarantula. The kids laughed and laughed (from the trailer windows) as Daddy swept the spider away.
We did have one of those "That which does not kill you..." experiences after that though. We realized we hadn't been careful with water conservation and had filled our holding tank (luckily, just the gray water). Nothing could be done but to go dump it...in the dark...by disconnecting everything, hooking it up the trailer, and heading to the dump station...and then reconnecting everything when we were done. We can laugh about it now, but it wasn't fun then. However, we handled it well and continued with our night after that.
But this morning...that was what really topped off my own cup. Chad and I got up before the kids and sat outside talking, with me drinking my coffee. The weather was beautiful. I had taken my running stuff and would have loved to enjoy a run in that weather...but my foot has been killing me. But if I'd gone for a run, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy that time with my husband and later with all of us. It really did my soul good to have that time outside with my family.
And that brought me to talking to the kids today about how we all have cups that are filled by good times and kind words and nice actions, but are easily spilled by negativity. We were able to discuss ways to fill each others' cups and how to take care of our own cups.
I am so glad that I stepped outside myself and what I would have liked in the way of time to plan and organize this trip and just enjoyed the time we had together in all its little ways. And now, with reference to Psalm 23:5, my cup overflows...
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