Monday, August 1, 2011

The Funk Monster

Seems like this little guy has been in my rearview mirror too long.
Today's run wasn't so much about health or fitness or was all about escaping this hairy, nasty little "funk monster" that's been too close for comfort for a while now.

I started off thinking maybe I was depressed, but I don't want to make light of a serious condition. It's just a funk I'm in. Summer does that to me. It's sad, really, that I spend all summer trying to find a routine or at least peace in not having one, and just in time for school to start back up again, I finally relax enough to enjoy it.

I was feeling frustrated with all we haven't done this summer...the plans I made to read with the kids more, teach Ryan his alphabet, teach Sarah Beth to tie her shoes, to cook together, to go to the spray park or Jump for Joy or a jillion other places...all things that I'm sure the kids would love. The truth is, though, that the kids are happy with what we have been doing, simple things like playing video games or snuggling to watch a show, and it just takes me so darn long to realize that.

So, today's run was about getting away from the funk I've been in here lately and just being present in the here and now. I've got two weeks until school starts for me, and I plan to make the most of it. But not in the cram-it-in, go-and-blow from sunup to sundown kind of way. I'm going to let the kids and my own desires lead the way. Today, they wanted to play computer and video games and go to McDonald's...check. And I want to make a tomato pie, so I'll do that. It's all in the little things, I know.

Really though, I did spend the run leaving these feelings and nagging thoughts behind me on the road. That's probably my favorite visualization when I run...these burdens and frustrations just falling off of me as I run. It's a weight being left behind, and I come home lighter and somehow happier...not in a silly, laughing mood, but with a content and blessed attidue instead.

Some of my favorite shirts on Cafe Press remind me of that feeling:

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